Why Naming Your Emotions Matters (And How to Start)
Have You Ever Felt Overwhelmed But Could Not Quite Explain Why?
Maybe you have said “I am stressed.” When what you were really feeling was disappointed, hurt, or afraid. Learning to name emotion is not just about having a bigger vocabulary — it is about creating space between what you feel and how you respond. When you can accurately identify your emotions, you begin to understand your needs, regulate your nervous system, and communicate more effectively with others. In therapy and daily life, naming emotions is one of the most powerful tools for emotional awareness and healing. Have you ever heard the saying “Name it to tame it”? Naming emotions bring clarity when there was once confusion—and compassion where there was once judgement.
Many of us were never taught how to talk about our emotions or feelings beyond some are “good” and some are “bad”. Have you heard messages like this growing up: “don’t cry”, or “calm down” ? Without realizing it, we learned that some emotions were acceptable (or more comfortable for the adults around us)—like happiness or excitement—while others were inconvenient (or too much for the adults around us.) We are not always taught as young kids how to sit with these harder feelings (think disappointment, anger, anxiety, etc.) because maybe those around us could not sit with them either. This is not said with judgement but with curiosity. At home, the adults around us did the best they could with what they knew, often repeating patterns they themselves grew up with.
The result? Many adults know how to hide emotions but not how to name or understand them. We label and judge ourselves for having feelings rather than seeing them as signals—each one carrying important information about our needs, boundaries and values. When we learn to see emotions as messengers—not enemies—we move closer to emotional freedom. It is not about controlling how you feel; it is about listening with curiosity and compassion.
If you are not sure where to start, you are not alone. This post will guide you through simple steps to begin identifying and naming your emotions with curiosity, not criticism—so you can feel more grounded and connected to yourself.
How to Start
Slow down and notice what is happening in your body: Before you can begin to name an emotion, you have to feel it. Start by pausing when something feels off. Notice your body—is your chest tight? Is your jaw clenched? Are your shoulders heavy? Our bodies will often signal emotions before our minds do. Listen to your body!
Ask yourself, “What is underneath this feeling?”: We often label emotions in broad strokes: stressed, mad, sad. But those can be umbrellas for deeper, more specific feelings. Getting specific helps you understand the root of what is happening—and what you might need to soothe it. Some examples of what might be underneath the emotion we are showing.
Stress might actually be pressure, fear, or overwhelm
Anger might hide hurt, injustice or disappointment
Sadness might come from loss, loneliness, or rejection
Use an emotion wheel or feelings chart: If you are unsure what you are feeling, an emotion wheel or mood meter, can be a helpful visual tool. It expands your emotional vocabulary and shows how core feelings branch into more nuanced ones. Over time, you will find yourself identifying emotions more quickly and accurately.
Here is my favorite feelings wheel, I encourage people to save this on their phones, hang it on the fridge, put it in places you can regularly see it.
Here is my favorite app (How We Feel) for naming and tracking my emotions through the mood meter.
Name your emotion out loud or in writing: Saying or writing “I feel _____” activates the rational part of your brain, helping you regulate big emotions. Simple acts like this build emotional literacy—and with practice, it becomes second nature. Try phrases like:
“I feel anxious because I care about how this turns out.”
“I feel sad because that mattered to me.”
The Takeaway
Learning to name and understand your emotions is a form of coming home to yourself. For many of us, it is a skill we were never taught—but it is one we can learn at any age. When you give your emotions language (a name), you begin to transform confusion into clarity, reactivity into understanding, and self criticism into compassion. This work takes patience and consistency, but each step brings you closer to feeling grounded, authentic, and connected—both to yourself and to those around you.
At Rooted Dove, we believe emotional awareness is the foundation of healing. Through therapy and integrative approaches, we help clients explore their inner world with curiosity and care—so they can live with more balance, resilience and peace. If you are ready to take the next step in building your emotional intelligence, reach out to Rooted Dove Integrative Wellness for a free consultation.
Disclaimer: The information in this blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis or therapy. If you are experiencing emotional distress or mental health concerns, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or contact a local support resource for help.
